Weight of Depression
by GinnyPotter91
Summary: This is my first fanfiction. it is about a rebellious Harry. Maybe with a bit of HarryGinny later on. HGRW, GWHP
1. The Party

Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter One: The Party  
  
Harry was sitting on a bench in a deserted park. His feet where someone would usually sit. Harry lifted his hand up to his mouth, which had a cigarette wedged in between his fingers. Harry inhaled the smoke and took the cigarette out of his mouth. He breathed out a big puff of smoke afterwards. It felt great. A small smile crept onto his face when he saw a group of teenagers about his age coming towards him.  
  
Harry got off the bench and started to walk over to them. He took another mouthful of smoke just as he got to them. "Yo Dudders", Harry said. Dudley just glared at him. "So, what you doing?" Harry said casually. "On our way to a party" said one of Dudley's friends. "Really? I thought you were sleeping at Pierre's House." Harry said a grin spreading across his face. Dudley spoke up "You can come, just don't tell Mum and Dad" "Oky Doky, where is it at?" Harry said, indifferently. "Pierre's House" Dudley answered, "Okay then, Bye", Harry walked off towards the Dursley's home. He took one last breath on the cigarette, before crushing it under his shoe.  
  
When Harry got to his room, he found three owls waiting for him. He got the letters off them and sent them on their way. Harry threw the top two letters in the bin, which were from Ron and Hermione; he did not need their sympathy and lectures. The last letter looked formal. Realising it was probably his OWL results, he opened the envelope. It read:  
  
Dear Mr Potter,  
Here are the results from Your OWL Results.  
The disruptions during the Astronomy practical has been taken into account. Yours Sincerely,  
OWL Examiners  
Wizarding education office  
  
Harry read the letter and picked up the next bit of paper. It was his grades. It said:  
  
OWL Results  
  
Potions- E  
  
Transfiguration- E Charms- O Care of Magical Creatures- E Defence Against the Dark Arts- O Divination- D Herbology- E Astronomy- A History of Magic- P  
  
Advised Classes: Transfiguration, charms, care of magical creatures, Herbology, Astronomy, Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts.  
  
Please reply with which courses you which to do. Harry replied saying he wanted to do Charms, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology and Potions.  
  
Harry was rather surprised that he had gotten into potions, remembering what Professor McGonagall had said about Snape only taking people with Outstanding OWLs. He thought that someone must have said something.  
  
A little while later, he left for the party. When he got there, he saw three things- Music, Beer and Girls. Harry lit another cigarette, taking a few puffs of it, before discarding it. He grabbed a beer. He had had quite a few by the time a girl in a mini skirt and a boob tube asked him to dance. By that time, he was wasted. As Harry started dancing with this girl, it became dirtier. A little while later, he and this girl stopped dancing a started snogging in a dark corner. Of coarse, neither knew what they were doing as they were both drunk.  
  
Meanwhile back at the Dursley's...  
  
There was a knock at the door. Vernon got up and opened it. "Oh, its you" he said, as Lupin and Tonks stepped in. They walked straight up to Harry's room to find it empty. Tonks sat on the bed. "Where is he?" she said. Lupin remained silent. He walked over to Harry's desk, which had his OWL results. "Maybe he's out celebrating!" He said. Tonks nodded. They both walked out and down the stairs. They stopped to talk to Petunia and Vernon. "Do you know where Harry's gone?" Lupin asked them. "No, we only know that Dudley's sleeping at a friends" Petunia. They asked a few more questions like where Dudley was sleeping, etc, before leaving the Dursley's.  
  
Meanwhile back at the Party...  
  
Harry and the Girl had been kissing for a while before they finally decided to stop. They began to lead each other up the stairs. Lupin and Tonks arrived at a very loud and boisterous party. They walked in the house just in time to see Harry walking up the Stairs with a girl. Both Lupin and Tonks quickly followed Harry. Harry and the girl walked into a large bedroom. They went straight for the bed. As they were kissing, the girl was slowly unbuttoning Harry's shirt. Lupin and Tonks burst into the room, which they saw Harry enter. They were shocked at what they saw. Harry was kissing a girl with half his shirt unbuttoned. Tonks went over to them and pulled Harry and the girl away from each other. She led Harry out of the house and back to the Dursley's, Lupin bringing up the rear.  
  
Tonks guided Harry up to his Bedroom and put him on his bed. In a matter of seconds, Harry was asleep. "We come back in the morning," Lupin said. He and Tonks walked out of Harry's Room. 


	2. consequences of actions

Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter 2: Consequences of actions.  
  
When Harry awoke, His head was aching, he felt very dizzy, and he felt the urge to vomit. He groaned. He could not remember a thing about last night. "Hello Harry" a voice said. Harry weakly lifted his head and saw a foggy outline of a man and a woman. He reached over to get his glasses, which turned out to already be on his face. Harry rubbed his eyes. A few moments later his vision started to become clearer. "Hi" Harry mumbled. "Have a nice night out, yesterday?" a woman said, which was Tonks. "I can't remember," Harry muttered. He tried to sit up, but failed miserably. "By the way, good work on your OWLs" Lupin said. Harry tried gain to sit up, only just making it. "So, why'd you do it?" Lupin said. "Do what?" Harry said, confused. Then it suggested itself to Harry, the party. Did he do something bad there? It then occurred to him, he must have gotten drunk, that was why he did not remember. Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I was invited to go, so I went" Harry said simply. "We'll leave you to it then" Tonks said. They left his room, leaving silence behind them.  
  
Harry shakily got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. Harry vomited what felt like his whole stomach out. After he stopped vomiting, he had a shower and brushed his teethe, which calmed his splitting headache a bit. After he was finished in the bathroom, he went down to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. Harry brought the apple back up to his room, where he found another owl. He got the letter off the owl and read it:  
  
Dear Mr Potter, Please note that the School year will begin on September the First. The Hogwarts Express will leave from Kings Cross Station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock.  
A list of books for next year is enclosed.  
  
Yours sincerely, Professor M. McGonagall Deputy Headmistress  
  
Harry picked up the other piece of parchment that had fallen out of the envelope. He supposed it was his booklist. It read:  
  
Set Books for Mr Harry Potter  
  
You should have the following: The Standard book of spells (grade 6) by Mallory Locomotion Practical Defensive Magic by George Cynic The complete guide to potion ingredients and what they do by Ashley Constituent Advanced Transfiguration by Freddy modifyen Offensive Magic and it Use against the Dark Arts by Amanda Odious The complete guide to Herbs and Fungi and their use by Steerun Utilus  
  
Harry went and laid on his bed. Harry sat up suddenly. It seemed a lot later. He thought he probably dozed off. He looked over at his alarm clock. It said 3:45. Harry decided to send an owl to Lupin, telling him that he would go to Diagon Alley the next day, as it was the 29th of July. He wrote:  
  
Dear Lupin, I am just mailing to tell you that I am going to Diagon Alley tomorrow, as it is The 29th of July. I need to get my school stuff.  
  
From,  
Harry  
  
As soon as Harry finished writing it, he sent it off with Hedwig. He then tried on his robes, so see if they fit, which they didn't. He reminded himself that he needed a new set. Harry unpacked all his robes and his winter cloak out of his trunk. He packed up all his stuff into his trunk. He cleaned out Hedwig's cage as well.  
  
After Harry had finished all his packing, Harry walked to his favourite bench in the distant park. Harry took what was his last cigarettes and lit it. Harry breathed in the smoke. It felt even better than it usually did. He sat on the bench for some time, smoking that cigarette before he decided to go back home.  
  
After Harry had had Dinner, he went straight up to his room. As he entered his room, he saw Hedwig perched on the top of his wardrobe. She flew down to him, letting him take the letter of her leg, before flying back into her cage. Harry read the letter which was from Lupin. It said-  
  
Dear Harry, Do not leave the Dursley's. Kingsley and I will be there tomorrow at 11:30 to check on you. We have organised the Knight bus not to pick you up, so you will not be able to get to Diagon Alley. Try to be mature about it. Get your stuff by owl order.  
  
Sorry,  
Lupin  
  
Harry frowned at the letter. He would get to Diagon Alley no matter what! He scrunched the letter up in a ball and tossed it into the bin. He changed into his pyjamas and went to sleep.  
  
When Harry awoke, he quickly got dressed. He wanted to get out of the Dursley's by 10:10, so he could get a public bus to London. Harry dragged his trunk down the stairs as silently as he could. He went back upstairs and told Hedwig to meet him in the Leaky Cauldron. Harry carried her empty cage downstairs. He hastily ate his breakfast. He was almost out of the door, when he saw some muggle money on the entry table. He scooped it up and pocketed it. Harry felt proud of himself. He had gotten out of the house, before anyone had woken up! Harry heaved his trunk and Hedwig's cage to the nearest bus stop. He did not have to wait long, when a Public bus, which was going to London, pulled up. Harry pulled all his stuff onto the bus. He payed the Bus driver some money before sitting down in a seat. He pulled his stuff with him. Harry looked around the bus, only about half a dozen people were on it.  
  
Harry managed to get off fairly close to the Leaky Cauldron; he only had to walk one shop up.  
  
As Harry stepped into the leaky cauldron, Hedwig greeted him. Harry walked over to the bar, asking for a room. After Harry has put all his stuff in his room and got Hedwig settled, he made his way out on to Diagon Alley. 


	3. Diagon Alley and the trip to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the story line. All the rest belongs to the great J.K Rowling and Warnerbros.  
  
Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter 3: Diagon Alley and the Trip to Hogwarts  
  
As Harry stepped out onto the bustling Diagon Alley, he felt free. Harry made a mental note of the things he needed. I need new robes, Potion kit refills, books, quills, and a fair amount of parchment, he said to himself.  
  
Harry started by going to his vault in Gringotts to refill his moneybag. He then moved onto Madame Malkin's robes for all occasions to get his new robes and winter cloak. After they had been folded and packed into a bag, he thanked Madame Malkin, before leaving the shop.  
  
Harry followed that by going to the apothecary to refill his potion kit. After that, he went into Stationary 4 School, a new shop next to Eeylop's Owl Emporium. He went into it, and brought some new quills and heaps of parchment.  
  
He quickly dropped into Eeylop's Owl Emporium to get some owl treats for Hedwig, before making his way to Flourish and Blotts.  
  
He brought all his books he needed, and brought two others. They were called Curses and counter-curses, by Professor Vindictus Virdian.  
  
The other was called Quidditch Techniques used by the Quidditch greats, by Wendell Fling.  
  
Afterwards, Harry sat down outside Florean Fortescue's Ice-cream Parlour and ordered a double-chocolate Sundae. He was almost finished, when he saw Lupin and Kingsley appear at the end of Diagon Alley. He quickly got up and walked into the inside of Florean Fortescue's, which was very crowded. He paid for his sundae and stayed in the crowd until they had passed him.  
  
Harry went back to the Leaky Cauldron. Harry bolted up to his room. He dropped his shopping on the ground. He started pacing back and forth across the wooden floor of the room. Harry started running his hands through his hair. He needed to think of a plan, fast. 'Calm down' Harry said to himself. There was no need to panic. Harry took a deep breath. Harry picked up his shopping off the ground and placed it on his bed. Harry went and had a shower to cool off. After he got out, Harry decided to do his homework. By the time he finished, it was dark.  
  
Harry cautiously went down the stairs. He looked around; making sure No one he knew was there. Harry sighed in relief. He ordered his dinner and sat down in a very remote corner. Harry quickly ate his food. He paid for it and went back up to his room. Harry got changed into his pyjamas. He put his shopping in the corner, before climbing into bed, where he fell asleep as his head hit the pillow.  
  
He was falling, falling through the sky. He hit water. He plummeted through it. Harry looked around. There were things in this water, bodies. In an instant, they came alive. Harry's eyes widened in shock. They looked like his Parents, Cedric, people he did not know and.... Sirius. They started coming over to Harry. They started murmuring. Harry started to panic. "You killed us, we'll kill you". He grabbed hold of him. He could not breathe. Just as quickly, as they grabbed him, they were off him. Sirius had his wand out. "Goodbye Harry" he said. A green light came out of the end of Sirius' wand. Just as it was about to hit him, Harry awoke.  
  
Harry woke up breathing hard. He was all sweaty. Harry got up out of bed. He went over to his trunk. Harry searched through it until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a shattered mirror. It was a gift that Sirius gave him. He stood up, "Sirius, Sirius Black" he said. But nothing happened. Harry hurled it at the wall, where it hit, and broke completely. Harry laid back on his bed.  
  
The time passed as Harry stayed in Diagon Alley. He only left his room for food and for the occasional nighttime stroll in muggle London. Before Long, It was time to go to King's Cross-to catch the Hogwarts Express. Harry packed his trunk, making sure he did not forget anything. He pulled his trunk down the stairs and into the pub. Harry almost died of shock. There talking to tom, the innkeeper, was none other but Albus Dumbledore and Remus Lupin. Harry quickly pulled his Trunk out of the pub and into muggle London, found his trunk was a lot heavier than he expected.  
  
Remus looked up, just in time to see a raven-haired boy pull his Trunk out of the Pub. He whispered to Dumbledore, who nodded. They excused themselves and followed Harry out. When they got out of the pub the saw Harry putting his trunk in a boot of a taxi and was about to get in, when he saw them. Panic crossed the teenager's face. Harry quickly jumped into the taxi and drove away. The two older men were left standing on the pavement.  
  
Harry arrived at Kings Cross a short time later. He paid the taxi driver with the money he had exchanged and got out off the taxi. Harry got his trunk and put it on a trolley, before continuing on his way to platform 9 ¾. When Harry got onto the platform, He put his trunk on the train and went to the last carriage on the train. About 15 minutes later, he felt the soft movement of the train.  
  
The compartment door opened and Hermione and Ron walked in. Harry looked at them as they sat down. "So how was your summer, Harry?", Hermione asked earnestly. "Fine" Harry said back. An uncomfortable silence followed. "So what have you been up to?" Harry asked finally, looking at both of them. Ron's ears started to go red. "Oh, nothing really. Just hanging around, doing homework and stuff" Hermione said rather quickly. Again, there was a silence. Hermione started to fidget, as if she wanted to say something, but Ron shook his head. "We've been really worried about you Harry" Hermione said finally. "You don't have to worry, I'm fine" Harry said angrily. Just then, Malfoy and his goons walked in. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry said, standing up. "Oh, nothing we were just wondering how your dear godfather is" Malfoy sneered. In seconds, Harry had Malfoy by the collar of his shirt. "Harry, NO!" Hermione yelled. But that did not stop Harry. He drew his hand back and punched Malfoy in the face. He did it repeatedly. He let Malfoy go after about half a dozen and sat back down on the train seat. Malfoy stood up and quickly walking out, Crabbe and Goyle following him. Hermione sat, gaping at Harry.  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Ginny walked in. "Prefect meeting" she said in a rather bored tone. "Okay, Thanks" Ron said. Ginny gave them a weird look, before walking out. "Harry we need to go" Hermione said. "You do that," Harry said in a voice of boredom. Hermione and Ron walked out, leaving Harry alone, just what Harry wanted.  
  
Time passed slowly on the train. Harry changed into his robes about ¾ through the trip. He did not see Ron and Hermione until he got off. They stood next to him, all the way up to Hogwarts. They sat down in the great hall. 


	4. Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the story line. All the rest belongs to the great J.K Rowling and Warnerbros.  
  
Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter 4: Hogwarts  
  
When Harry sat down, he saw Malfoy talking to Snape at the front of the great hall. Snape had a frown on his face and was nodding every so often. When Snape looked up to look at Harry, he gave a little wave. This angered Snape. But Harry did not care. Snape went up to Dumbledore and whispered something to him. Dumbledore nodded.  
  
At that precise moment, the doors opened and in walked in a bunch of nervous children. They gathered at the front in a disorderly line there was an odd silence and then the sorting hat began to sing.  
  
Harry tuned out when the sorting hat began to sing. He only stopped daydreaming when Dumbledore stood up.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. I just have a few things to say before we start the feast..." Dumbledore said.

"First Years please not that the Forbidden forest is off limits. Mr Filch has asked me to tell you that a further 175 items has been added to the list of banned objects." Dumbledore, said smiling "And finally, Professor Snape has asked to see Mr Potter after the feast.Thankyou. Dig in" Dumbledore said, sitting back down.  
  
The plates on the House tables suddenly filled with food. Harry sat picking at his food for the whole feast, not really paying attention to what was around him. When it ended, he went to the staff table and waited for Snape to talk to him. When Snape spoke to him, it was a few words. "Detention, Potter. Tomorrow 8 o'clock" Snape said, before stalking down to the dungeons. Harry slowly made his way up to Gryffindor Tower. He went straight up to his dormitory, not even stopping to talk to anyone. He changed into his pyjamas and laid on his bed. He shut the curtains around him, shielding him from view. After a while, he heard his roommates come in and go to sleep. After a while he fell into a restless sleep.  
  
Harry Looked around. He was under the water, again.

"Why did you kill us, Harry?" Sirius said.

"Why did we even have to know you?" Cedric said.

"Your going to kill everyone, you know" His Father said. "

Why don't we kill you? Let you see how it feels" His mother said

"We hate you," They all murmured "Everyone else does too," They said again.

Suddenly Voldemort appeared.

"Goodbye Mr Potter!" Voldemort said. A green light came out of the end of his wand.

It came towards Harry, and hit.2 Harry suddenly sat up panting. Harry wiped the sweat off his brow.

"Are you alright, mate?" Ron said, concerned.

"I'm Fine. I just need to get something out of the common room," Harry said, quickly getting up from bed and went out the door. His roommates shrugged their shoulders and went back to bed. Ron stayed up for a bit, waiting for Harry, but he never came back up.

sorry about the extremely short chapter


	5. Harsh reality

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the story line. All the rest belongs to the great J.K Rowling and Warnerbros.  
  
Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter Five: Harsh reality  
  
He flicked through the photo album for a long time, Looking at each individual photo for a long time. He stopped and looked at one particular photo for a long time. It was a picture of his parents and Sirius, all waving at the camera. He himself was in it also. He'd crawl across the ground towards his mother who would pick him up.  
  
One lone tear escaped his eye. He quickly brushed it away. He refused to get too emotional. But he couldn't help but wonder if everything had been different. If he hadn't been the boy-who-lived, just a normal teenage wizard with a family. But he shook those thoughts out of his head; there was no point pondering over something that would never happen.  
  
He stood up and shook the dirt off his robes. He put to album back into the pocket of his robes and picked up the broom. He began to walk along the bank of the lake, just out of view from people looking out of the castle.

He decided to go further into the shadows of the forest. As he went further in, he got to a clearing. The clearing had a large tree in the centre with a swing hanging off one of the large branches. As he got closer to the tree, he saw a carving in its thick trunk. It was a heart. In it read-  
  
L.E  
  
J.P 4ever

Harry ran his hand along the lines. He went and sat on the swing. It swayed slightly with the wind. He tried to forget about everything, about his life and his thoughts. His mind suddenly flicked to Voldemort and the prophecy. Hatred surged through his body at the thought of Voldemort. He was the cause for the life Harry had. Harry had never wanted to hurt Voldemort as much as he did at that moment.  
  
Harry stood up and stalked back to the castle. On the way back, he accidentally blew up and a shrub. He put the broom back in the storeroom and was on his way back to Gryffindor tower when he heard a wise voice behind him.

"Hello Harry, could I see you in my office?"

Harry turned around. Dumbledore was standing before him. Harry knew that he couldn't get out of this situation. He reluctantly nodded and followed the professor up to his office. Harry uncomfortably sat on one of the seats in front of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore walked around the desk and sat on his seat. "

First, you'd be happy to know that we have found your broom in the dungeons," Dumbledore said.

He nodded to wards the door. Harry turned around and saw his firebolt leaning against the wall. Harry turned back around.

"And you do know I will have to punish you for skipping class?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry nodded.

"You will have detention with one of the professor's tonight," he said.

"I can't tonight, I've already got detention" Harry mumbled.

Dumbledore thought for a moment.

"Then tomorrow, 7:00," Dumbledore said.

Harry nodded and stood up. It was only the first day of term and he had landed himself with two detentions. Harry made his way to the door and picked up his broom.

"By the way, Harry, your Gryffindor captain" Dumbledore said, just as Harry was leaving.

Harry pretended he didn't hear the last part. He just kept walking. For once, he didn't think Quidditch could lift his spirits. He made his way up to Gryffindor tower. He sat in his favourite chair by the fire and began to think.  
  
Harry snapped out of his trace when a hand began to wave in front of his eyes. He looked up to find a very angry Hermione standing before him.

"Why didn't you come to class today?" Hermione said, trying to keep calm.

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"Harry, its only the first day of term, you know your throwing away your future!" Hermione said.

"I already know my future and it has nothing to do with school!" Harry said, standing up and walking out of the room.

"What was that about?" Ron asked.

Hermione shook her head. For once, she didn't have the answer.  
  
Harry stormed down the hallways of Hogwarts. He stopped when he reached the room of requirement. He went in. he was in a deserted park. There was a bench in front of him, he sat on it. He couldn't remember the last time he was happy.

_'I'm probably doomed to be miserable all_ _my life'_ Harry thought.

Harry let out a hollow laugh.

He looked next to him on the seat. There was a packet of cigarettes on the bench next to him. He lowered his hand towards them. He took one out and lit it. Harry sighed and lifted it to his mouth. He sucked in the smoke. He knew if he didn't stop soon he would become addicted, but he didn't really care at that moment. He just decided to keep smoking the cigarette and trying to forget about his life.

He nearly died of shock when he looked at his watch and it was 7:50. Harry jumped up. He disposed of the cigarette and performed a spell to get rid of the smell of smoke. He ran down the stairs towards the dungeons. He burst through to doors just as the clock chimed 8:00.

"So nice of you to join me, Mr Potter" Snape said

A/N- Thanks to all the people who reviewed :)


	6. Anger Issues

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the story line. All the rest belongs to the great J.K Rowling and Warnerbros.

A/N- Here is chapter 6, sorry it took so long.  
  
Weight of Depression  
  
Chapter Six: Anger Issues  
  
Harry glared at Snape. Snape tossed a rag to Harry.

"Scrub the desks. Don't leave until your told," Snape said

Harry picked up the rag and began to scrub the desk. Snape stood over Harry, throwing insults at him every so often, before going out of the room. Harry was left alone. It was silent, except for the swishing sound of his rag going back and forth over the wooden desks.  
  
Harry eyelids slowly began to droop. Harry rubbed his eyes, trying to stay awake, but it was so hard, he hadn't slept in days. Harry shook his head violently. He refused to go to sleep. As the hours past by, He became more bored and he began to hear murmuring. A few minutes later Snape walked in. he began to inspect the desks, before walking over to Harry.  
  
"You seem to have done a satisfactory job cleaning the desks," Snape said.

Harry straightened up.

"The headmaster has informed me that you have detention tonight. You will be doing it with me. For the rest of the week, you have detention," Snape sneered.

Harry nodded and left the room.  
  
Term passed slowly for Harry, with quite a few detentions spread through it.  
  
When Holidays came, Ron asked him if he wanted to go to the burrow. Harry declined and said it would be safer for everyone if he stayed at Hogwarts. Ron was disappointed, but accepted Harry's decision. Harry was left alone in the silence of Hogwarts for the holidays.  
  
Harry kept himself entertained by wandering the halls and riding his firebolt.  
  
When term began, so did his classes and his teachers were burying him in homework but he couldn't seem to be able to concentrate.

"Detention Potter, for you lack of attention" Professor McGonagall said.

Harry didn't even bother to reply as he gathered his books as quickly as he could, not wanting to talk to anyone. He put his books back in his dormitory and thought that he should make an appearance at lunch otherwise Hermione would be on his back.  
  
After he had eaten a sandwich, he stood up and began to walk to the door when someone stood in front f him. It was Malfoy.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry said calmly.

"Oh nothing" Malfoy said.

Harry made to go around him, but Malfoy stood in front of him again.

"Move Malfoy, now"

"Potty no need to get you panties in a twist"

Malfoy lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "My master is going to kill you".

"Well tell your master to try, but he shouldn't get too confident" Harry said

"Soon Potter, your going to die just like your father, a fool's death and all for nothing" Malfoy sneered.

All of a sudden, Harry found that he couldn't control his anger and began to punch Malfoy in the face and stomach. He was vaguely aware that there were teachers in the room, but at that moment, he couldn't care less, he only wanted to cause Malfoy as much pain as possible. Soon, Malfoy began to fight back.

"Impedimenta!"

Harry and Malfoy were thrown of each other.

"HOW DARE YOU DISPLAY MUGGLE DUELING IN THE GREAT HALL," Professor McGonagall yelled.

"Potter, come with me, Malfoy go to Professor Snape," She said angrily.

Harry followed McGonagall up to her office, where she promptly told him to sit down.

"How Dare you punch another student, and in the Great Hall. Do you have no common sense?" She screamed.

Harry stayed quiet, not wanting to get yelled at more than he had to.

"And this isn't the first time you have punched Mr Malfoy this year is it, Potter?"

Harry reluctantly shook his head.

"I am ashamed of your behaviour this year Potter. I have had enough, up to the Headmaster's office. I will be up there shortly."

Harry slowly got up and made his way up to the gargoyle at the door of Dumbledore's office and realised he didn't know the password. He sighed and sat down leaning on the wall opposite the gargoyle for McGonagall. A few minutes later, she came walking down the corridor.

"What are you doing out here? Why aren't you with the Headmaster?" She said crossly.

"I didn't know the password"

McGonagall began to mutter about his stupidity and said the password. Harry followed his head of house up the stairs to Dumbledore's office.

"Hello Minerva, Harry, What brings you here?" Dumbledore said politely.

Professor McGonagall began the story about the punch up and his behaviour that year. Harry stood with his hands in his pockets and kept his eyes on the floor, not wanting to look at the headmaster.

"So Harry, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dumbledore said after a short silence.

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"Why don't you wait outside for a moment while we discuss this issue?"

Harry walked out the door and waited for about half an hour, before being call back in by professor McGonagall. He took one look at her face and knew he was in serious trouble. He was told to sit down, which he did, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Harry, after speaking with the governors of the school, we have come to a decision. I'm sorry but we have no choice but to suspend you for five days," Dumbledore said.

Harry's eyes flew off the ground to Dumbledore.

"What? But where will I go?" Harry said, surprised.

"You could go with the Weasleys" Professor Dumbledore said

Harry shook his head; he didn't want to be a burden on them.

"Ok, then you will be going to headquarters with Remus," Dumbledore said Harry just stared at Dumbledore.

"Well Harry, you better get packing. Take your trunk down the Entrance Hall when you are done"

Harry got up and trudged out of the office and up to Gryffindor tower. He began tossing his things into his trunk as roughly as he could.

"What are you doing, Harry?" Ron said from behind him.

"I got suspended" Harry answered.

He slammed the lid of his trunk shut and levitated it.

"Bye" he said, before walking out of Gryffindor tower, leaving a shocked Ron behind him.

He walked slowly to the Entrance Hall, where Dumbledore and Lupin were waiting for him. Harry dropped his trunk wit a loud thump and pocketed his wand. Lupin came over to him.

"Harry, we're going by portkey," he said.

Harry nodded his head. He touched the portkey and was immediately transported to the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

"I can't believe you got suspended from Hogwarts! Is this because of Sirius?" Lupin said. "What? No!" Harry answered.

"Then what is it?"

"NOTHING ALRIGHT NOTHING" Harry yelled.

"Your parents would be ashamed if they were here, Harry!" Lupins said.

"Yeah, but they're not and won't ever be," Harry shouted.

There was a short silence before Harry spoke again.

"I've accepted that. My Parents and Sirius aren't here anymore. Stop living in a fantasy and move on," Harry said loudly.

"Harry, you haven't moved on, so why should I?" Lupin whispered.

"I have moved on!"

"Then stop acting like a child" I don't" Harry said.

"Then stop pushing everyone away," Lupin said.

"Why do you care? It's my life"

"But it effects everyone. We all care about you"

"Then stop" Harry yelled.

"Its not something on and off. Everyone is worried about you," Lupin said

"Well it should. I'm perfectly fine Ok!"

"No your not. If you were, you wouldn't be acting like this," Lupin said angrily.

"What do you expect? I'm not going to act like everything is great, because in case you haven't noticed, it isn't" Harry yelled angrily.

Lupin went to say something, but Harry cut him off.

"I have killed anyone who comes near me. My parents, Sirius, people are going to keep dieing because of me. I act the way I do because that's the way I am. I'm protecting others. I'm not going to pretend that everything is fine. I won't" Harry yelled.

"Its our choice whether we want to know you or not and you'll be happy with your life when this is over" Lupin said calmly.

"No it won't! Because if Voldemort does get killed, I would be the one to kill him, not anybody else and I'll have to live with the fact that I killed someone," Harry said

"What are you talking about?" Lupin said curiously

"Oh, so Dumbledore hasn't told you yet, well ask him about it, as for me, I'm going out don't follow," Harry said.

Harry left a shocked Remus in the kitchen and walked out of Grimmauld Place. An alarm sounded, Harry rolled his eyes and kept walking. He broke into a run as soon as he got out of the building.  
  
Harry could here people apparating behind him, but that only made him go faster. He saw a bunch of trees on the side of the footpath. He ran into them and hid. He could hear order members looking for him on the path and knew they would search the trees next. He quickly got up and ran deeper into the trees. A few moments later, he stumbled onto a footpath. Harry looked around and smiled.  
  
He was free.

A/N- Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. Your comments are appreciated.

Thank you :-)


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